SJMV Kubwa

No Divorce – By Fr. Collins Akhigbe, OP 3rd March 2025 “What God has joined together, no human being must separate” (Mk. 10:9). In today’s gospel reading, the Lord made it clear that divorce is not the will of God. Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her, and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery (Mk. 10:11-12).   These are strong declarations from the Lord himself. The Master is simply saying, no divorce. The Catholic Church has held on to this position to the point of being crucified for being too rigid. People should know that it is not just the position of the Church; it is the teaching of Jesus Christ, Our Lord and Saviour. The duty of the Church is to faithfully interpret the teaching of Christ. The Church has no power to adjust or change the authentic teaching of Jesus Christ. This is why the Catholic Church has refused to follow the current secular teachings on marriage. The world should learn from the teaching of Christ and of his Church in order to do the will of God. In this reflection, we shall highlight why there is no room for divorce and how to preventthe  dissolution of marriage and divorce.   Why There Is No Divorce   First, marriage is a divine institution ordained by God for the well-being of the couples and human society. It is not good for a man to be alone (Gen. 2:18). The Lord gave man a suitable helpmate to journey with him till death.   Second, marriage is a covenant between a man and a woman with God at the center. It is not just a covenant, it is a sacrament of the Church. It has a permanent bond that binds the couple together. It is indissoluble. What God has joined together, no human being must separate (Mk. 10:9).   Third, there is no divorce because it is contrary to the will of God. Whatever is contrary to the will of God is sin. To do anything against the plan of God is to sin against God (Mk. 10:5-8). By virtue of the bond of marriage, the man and the woman are now one (Mk. 10:8).   How To Avoid Divorce   First, spouses should keep the vows they made to each other. I, John, take you, Agnes, to be my lawfully wedded wife, in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, for better for worse, till death do us part. This is a promise of unconditional love. If husbands and wives keep to this promise, divorce will never surface.   Second, mutual respect for each other is critical in sustaining a healthy marriage that can withstand any weather. Where there is no respect, the marriage is in trouble and heading towards divorce. The scripture says that the husband and wife should give way to one another (Eph. 5:21).   Third, they must be willing to make sacrifices for each other. Marriage strives better and stronger where there is the spirit of selflessness and dedication. The more couples are willing to make sacrifices for one another, the more the marriage is stabilized. Where there is selfishness and pride, the marriage is on an express road to divorce.   Fourth, constant communication and dialogue amongst the couples. There should be openness and regular conversation about the family. Where there is openness of hearts and constant discussion, the marriage will become vibrant and strong.   Fifth, sincerity of purpose is a powerful tool that can save a family from divorce. When both parties are sincere towards one another, it will lead to trust and confidence. Where there is trust, there is stability. Lack of trust is capable of killing any marriage. In such a situation, if the marriage does not heal, it will become a wounded family.   Sixth, walking in fear of God is a big antidote against divorce. Where there is fear of God, there is goodness, kindness, peace, love, understanding and happiness. The more the couple dwells in the love of God, the more they stabilize their marriage.   Seventh, forgiveness and reconciliation are essential in savinga  marriage from divorce. Since there is no perfect man or woman, couples are bound to offend one another. The call to forgive one another is indispensable for a good and healthy marriage. It can save the couple from divorce. The Master told us to forgive one another (Mt. 18:21-34). These are some of the ways we can save couples from divorce.   Prayers   Lord, help us to love you above all things. Lord, help us to overcome pride and arrogance. Lord, give us the spirit of understanding and sacrifice. Lord, help us to overlook faults and shortcomings. Lord, please, sustain us till the very end. Amen. I wish you a beautiful day. With lots of prayers and love.

Balancing Motherhood and Self 8th December 2025 Women have been getting mixed messages about the shoulds and should n’ts of motherhood. What this has succeeded in doing is… Women to work or not to work or be supermoms Making moms feel guilty about being stay-at-home moms or Feel guilty for being working moms. Causing self-conscious embarrassment, if they aren’t pursuing a career outside the home and self-doubt for pursuing a lifetime career outside the home. Get the message? You are damned if you do and damned if you don’t. And that is precisely how a large number of younger moms feel.   We all know the history lesson here. Before the 1960s, Moms stayed at home. The working woman was the deviant. Now that anything goes, the natural conflict of mothers’ needs and children’s needs should be addressed. Only then can the weight of stress and guilt building on motherhood’s “shoulds and should n’ts” be thrown off.   FINDING A BALANCE : The Conflict of Motherhood and Self   The scientific findings of researchers may shed new light on the topic. Key among these findings are… The happiest women are the busiest women. Those moms who are the most harried do not have a negative feeling about motherhood.   The choice to stay at home can mean a loss of self, believes Sally Placksin, author of Mothering the New Mother (Newmarket Press, 1994). In order to avoid that loss, women have created networks, support groups, and publications to reassure them that it is okay to stay home.   Children in households with working mothers did not have more problems than in households with stay-at-home moms.   More important to a child’s overall sense of happiness is whether or not her mother is happy and satisfied with her lifestyle, whether this meant she stayed at home or worked.   To all moms out there, do what is best for you to keep yourself happy and your family happy, too. It could be a job, a stay-at-home mom, or a self-employed mom.